


Until I Fall Asleep

by SamuelGodDamnDrake (iamironman923)



Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: Character Death, M/M, OCD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 23:23:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7953199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamironman923/pseuds/SamuelGodDamnDrake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-Trigger Warning: Character Death-<br/>-Set 2 years after Rafe gets Sam out of Prison but pre Sam going to find Nate-<br/>-Inspired by Parachutes, "Forever and Always" and He is We, "Kiss it all better"<br/>----------<br/>Its been a little over two years since Rafe has liberated Sam from the Prison in Panama and things couldn't be better. The boys have settled down into a life of normalcy and rekindled their love for one another. But sometimes life throws an unexpected change in the mix and when this happens the boy's lives would be changed forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Until I Fall Asleep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [For Paxton](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=For+Paxton).



He loved watching Sam cook. Loved the way he ran his hand through his hair, the other resting on his hip while he watched the pot on the stove finish boiling.  
“You know, its going to take longer if you sit there and stare at it,” Rafe remarked and smiled at Sam. Sam threw him a smirk and returned to watching dinner cook. Sam always cooked, he loved to prepare new dishes for Rafe. Spent hours on the computer looking for new things to make, new hints and tips about what spices when with others. And of course Rafe loved tasting all the new dishes, and getting to watch him was the best part.   
“Soups on,” Sam said, removing his 'Surrender your Buns' cooking apron and carrying 4 different pots and bowls of things over to the table. It all smelled amazing: risotto, chickpeas, grilled chicken, and some sort of orange/yellow sauce. Rafe dug in hungrily as Sam grinned at him.   
“So, survivor is on tonight, it's a two part episode. Are you going to actually come down and watch it with me or are you going to fall asleep at your computer again?” Sam joked. Rafe had a bad tendency to get wrapped up in his work and forget about his nighttime plans with Sam. He always felt bad when Sam lifted him from his computer and carried him down the hallway to their shared bed.   
“I just have a little bit of work to do and then I will be down. Promise,” Rafe said looking at him. They had been living together for almost two years but no matter how many times he looked at Sam his heart still skipped a beat every time. Never before had he come across someone so wonderful. Someone who actually wanted to have him around and wouldn't judge him for his bad habit of loosing his temper.   
“Okay, that's a promise. Your ass better be down here when I call you.” He joked and took another bite of the amazing meal he had cooked. Rafe couldn't help but stare at him out of the corner of his eye as he ate. Even the simplest things made his heart race. God how he adored Sam.   
\----------  
When dinner was done and cleaned up Rafe walked up stairs and Sam retired to the couch. He had a lot of research to do and only a few hours to do it in, but he was determined to get it done. His fingers clicked away at the keys, going from tab to tab in his internet browser. It had been weeks and he still hadn't found any new clues to Avery's Treasure and it was driving him mad. All he wanted was one lead, one lead and then he would shut it down for the night. But still nothing. There had been rumor of something found in in Scotland but his men still hadn't found anything and he was at his wits end with that godforsaken place. 'Too damn cold', he muttered to himself, scrolling down to see if anything new had popped up on the black market forums.   
“RAFE! Rafe it's starting soon!” He heard Sam yell and he threw his head back in frustration. It was only 9 o'clock and he wanted to keep working. Wanted to keep searching for leads.   
'I'll be right down Sam!” He shouted back but made no effort to move. If he missed the first episode it wouldn't be a big deal. Sam always talked through them anyways and he would recap it as soon as he went down stairs. So he kept typing until at least another 15 minutes had passed and Sam shouted up again.  
“You're going to miss it Rafe!”  
“Ill be down in a bit Sam! Just a few things to finish...” His voice trailed off as he heard Sam protest.  
“But..... Rrrrraffffffeeeeeeee!” Rafe ignored it. He knew that if he just stayed quiet long enough Sam would give up and he only wanted a few minutes more. But he couldn't stand the sound of Sam's whining so he snatched up the pair of white headphones off the table and plugged them into the side of his laptop turning the sound up almost to the max, to help block out all the noise. At least then he would be able to focus and maybe get it done a little faster.   
\----------  
After almost an hour of sifting through articles Rafe closed his laptop angrily. Still nothing. No leads, no new artifacts, nothing except a roaring headache that he tried to soothe by rubbing his temples. And of course blaring music into his ears didn't help. It did help block out the sound of Sam's whining though, so that was a positive at least. He stood up, stretching his arms above his head and walking into the bathroom to take some Advil. He would need it if he wanted to stay awake for the last part the show with Sam. God he hoped Sam wouldn't be upset with him, then again, when was Sam ever upset? He was always so happy and outgoing with his silly little quips and puns. Rafe smiled remembering the one he was telling earlier today. Something about a pirate and his love of the Sea. He couldn't remember it but he knew he'd hear it again, Sam had a bad habit of using jokes over and over again.   
He exited his office and headed down stairs calling out to Sam, “Hey. Sam... I'm sorry. I got caught up in work and...” He stopped. Something didn't feel right. Didn't smell right. And the air was deathly quiet even though the TV was blaring in the living room. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he turned the corner and stepped on something strange that squished under foot. Lifting his leg he turned to look at it in the dim light of the television. Mud? Where the fuck did mud come from? He continued to tentatively make his way over to the living room when he saw the curtains of the french doors blowing open. His heart sank.  
“Sam?” he called out into the darkness. “Sam are you there?” He turned into the living room and gasped. The tables and book shelves were over turned, there was mud everywhere and something stank like the scent of dirt mixed with fresh blood, the tangy scent filling the air threatening to choke him.   
“r....rafe...” There was a gurgled moan that came from the other side of the couch somewhere in the darkness and a lump formed in Rafe's throat as he bolted around the side of the huge leather sectional.   
There he was. Sam. Laying there in a pool of something dark, his eyes fluttering open and closed as he tried to look at Rafe with those huge brown puppy dog eyes. 'Not blood...god please don't let it be blood' Rafe chanted in his head as he rushed to Sam's side.   
“SAM! Sam what happened? Sam can you hear me? Oh god.... Sam... Oh God.” He reached for Sam's hand and it felt hot and slick with something wet. He dare not look down. Instead he looked at Sam's face, cupping his cheeks in his palms and staring at his face as his eyes blinked rapidly. “SAM! God damn it Sam LOOK AT ME!” He saw Sam's hand reach for something by his side and thats when he saw it. The foot long gash along his stomach, the skin torn and ragged, pulsing with every sharp breath that he took. Rafe gasped and pressed his hands to the wound. “Sam...oh god Sam... It-It will be okay....oh Sam. I got you... Ive got you baby...” His voice came out wrong. It all sounded wrong. None of this was right. Not the blood. Not the horrible way Sam was gasping for breath beneath him.  
“r....rafe...” Sam moaned and reached his hand out for Rafe and he grabbed it without hesitation.  
“I'm here baby. Oh god... I'm here Sam. Don t you worry... I've got you...” His voice was coming out in sobs as he looked down at Sam. His hands were shaking and he tried to steady himself. He could see Sam growing paler and paler. “Sam. Hey. Sam stay with me. God damn it Sam you STAY WITH ME!” He was grabbing at his shirt. Pulling it over his head to try and stop the bleeding.   
But there was so much blood. Rafe kept shaking his head. Pressing anything that he could find into Sams wound in a feeble attempt to hold it all in, but nothing was working.  
“Rafe...” Sam spoke in an almost inaudable whisper and Rafe bent down to him.  
“I'm here baby. Oh oh god I'm here Sam.”  
“Rafe... it hurts...” His voice was so low and tears were filling Rafes eyes. This was all wrong. This couldn't be real. Sam was gasping now and Rafe cradled his head in his lap and stroked his hair.   
“I've got you baby... I've got you. I'm here.” His voice was faltering and Sam's eyes were wide and his breaths were coming out slower and slower. Sam reached his hand up and touched Rafes face. It was gentle, his fingers barley touched his cheek and Rafe leaned into it. “Sam...”  
“r..rafe”, he croaked and tried his hardest to smile, but Rafe could see the light fading from his eyes. “Rafe... I love you... forever and always... I'm... I'm so tired Rafe... please just... stay with me until I fall asleep.. please”   
“I love you too Sam. God damn it I love you too. Its going to be okay Sam. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I promise... Its....Its....” Sam's hand fell from Rafes face and he rushed to grab it, to hold onto him as if just holding his hand could keep him here. But it was too late. Sam's eyes were closing and he panicked. Grasping for his face. Holding him close to his chest and rocking him back and forth as a sob wrecked his body. “Oh god Sam... oh god.....” He rocked back and forth. Sam's head cradled to his chest as he held him there. What was he going to do without him. “I love you Sam..” He kept repeating over and over again.

\----------

Rafe closed his eyes and rested his head against his pillows trying to slow his breathing. This was the third time this week that he had been woken up by the nightmares. Reliving the love of his life dying in his arms. He got up out of his small Twin bed, rubbing the heels of his palms over his tired eyes, and went to check the locks for what felt like the thousandth time tonight. He had relocated to a tiny one bedroom apartment on the top floor on the building, not being able to stand being in that house alone. It was too big, and there was too much pain there. He paced in circles. Knowing that if he went back to bed he would see it all again in HD Technicolor. He hated it. It had been nearly a year now and he still couldn't function right. His therapist called it PTSD, he called it Insanity and as he continued to think about it, he found himself huddled on the floor elbows to his knees, his breath like hot needles down his throat and in his lungs.   
“Sam...” He whispered. “Oh god Sam... Please... Please come back...” His eyes were burning and he curled up on the floor thinking maybe the cold wood would help soothe him back to sleep. He lay there for what seemed like an eternity, sobs wrecking his body until finally sleep overcame him. “Sam...” He murmured in his sleep, but no matter how loud or softly he said it, Sam was never coming back.

**Author's Note:**

> For Paxton, because I know how much you love to see the world burn. <3


End file.
